What it Feels Like to Lose a Part of Yourself

Last week I was very happy. In fact I felt like I was the happiest person ever. I had a series of fun with my diverse-kind of friends, I had that rare moment of not fighting with my sister, I had my share of my new milktea craving, I had gotten away with the possibility that my professor will call my name for an oral recitation, I had my quiz results that were perfectly satisfactory, and most importantly, I was able to run away from my busy schedule without compromising everything!

And then last night, I lost my earphones.

For the typical folk, this is not a valid reason to be sad at all. But for me, a whole part of myself transformed to a burden I need to carry for the rest of my life. Just kidding, but to be honest, Christmas won't be as happy as I thought it would be.

It's not really an expensive earphones compared to others, but I can't afford to buy it again. I have been craving for that SoundMagic for more than 2 years already, saving then and then yet still failing to buy one.

Not until this summer that my papa bought it for me. Perhaps as a consolation for my barely satisfactory grades the past school year. It's not like every day he rewards me but this was the gift I always wanted.

It had sentimental value to me, it's a prize of my hardwork in college (which was a lot during that school year!) and it was a gift from someone I value so much. Now it fell to ruins, and the thought of "losing everything valuable" will resurrect every time I'll think of it.

The best earphones I've ever had, no doubt. Thanks to that earphones I became an audiophile. Everywhere I go, it's with me. I never let anybody use it because I had been very protective, now it seems like bad karma. At dawn, it's always in my side because it's the first thing I do in the morning. On my way to school and home it's always in my ears, because the world feels empty and chaotic without it, colorless and lifeless. It's also a bedtime essential, because I had to listen to an audiobook to focus myself to sleep.

So when I discovered it wasn't with me last night I was really disappointed. I thought my companions was pulling a prank to me but then again, I am still hoping it was just a prank!

I walked home alone last night, all the happiness drained in my face. I walked in the dark and lonely streets of my neighbourhood feeling afraid for the first time ever. It was then that I realized, life for me would be meaningless without the dramatics produced in my ears. It was really a bland and empty scenery.

I wasn't able to sleep last night, in fact I just closed my eyes from 12 to 4 until the thought hit me again. I was hoping it was just a dream, that I had enough reasons to be happy and not to think of anything else to bother my sleeping schedule, but then again, life has a way of making us realize things.

School and friends are the worst though. Every time I laughed today, a friend or another kept reminding me of my loss, which made things even worse. Not even a perfect score in Statics could bring the smile back in my face.

Tricking my mind won't even work this time, and I'm good at mind tricks. I kept telling myself not to worry about it anymore but it's not happening. Every time I look at the table where I always put it, I stop a little because I'm still hoping it would still be there. Every time I look into the pockets of my jeans, I stop a little because I'm still hoping I find it there. Most of the best moments these past 6 months it was with me. Perhaps this is the way to let it all out, so that I won't bother to think about it again in the future.

I never knew its value until I lost it, and now it seemed like a slap in my face. I have another earphones for backup purposes but it's never going to be the same. Sigh
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To all my friends or family out there, my birthday is coming, I wouldn't mind another pair as a replacement! :P Thanks!

First Listen: Track-by-Track Review of Coldplay's A Head Full of Dreams

Coldplay fans, rejoice! For the band is set to perform at next year's SuperBowl Halftime Show. As the news broke out, we are given the chance to listen to the new album, "A Head Full of Dreams", alleged to be their last album, so without further waiting, here's my impressions upon listening to the album for the first time ever!

1. A Head Full of Dreams - the intro reminded of the Mylo Xyloto interlude, right until it changed to a dance-y beat. I love that it's upbeat, which is a sharp contrast to their previous opening track, "Always in My Head". It somehow reminds me of a "The 1975" production, are they going for a 70's synthpop revival? Not quite yet! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE HARMONIES IN THE BRIDGE, it is really beautiful, euphoric, and I felt alive to be honest! This is definitely my favorite opening track from the band. An ANTHEM everyone would love, it's ready for stadiums! 10/10

2. Birds - Drums, drums, drums, and a melancholic electric guitar too, the beat reminded me of "Hurts Like Heaven", but it's far from being happy. Another chilly track from the band, I think the prechorus is weak, but the chorus is signature-Coldplay! The bridge is melodically interesting too, that part till the end is definitely my favorite moment, right until it was cut anticlimactically. I think I'm going to be inlove with this after a couple more listens. 8/10

3. Hymn for the Weekend - the track I'm most excited about, everybody hyped it to the maximum level, and did it deliver? I think it did! Beyonce harmonizing in the beginning is definitely interesting, and when the beat kicked in, it felt like it's a new Coldplay territory. Clap beats, world instruments, hip-hop elements, R&B touches, but the song's structure is so weird! The chorus is definitely an album highlight, it's so uplifting, it is indeed a hymn! I prefer this collaboration much more than the Rihanna-collab "Princess of China", but I was hoping Beyonce was a bit more prominent though. Still, a perfect track! 10/10

4. Everglow - slow, piano-driven ballad, and by the start of it, seems like an ode to love. Something that wouldn't have been out-of-place in Adele's album 2 weeks ago. Martin's vocal delivery here brings me back to their song "O", simply beautiful. This song somewhat acts like a break between 2 upbeats, and it serves rather well. The piano riff is beautiful, simple but effective! Coldplay is really effective with ballads, I actually love it a lot. 10/10

5. Adventure of a Lifetime - the album's funky lead single, released about a month ago. Very catchy, and it still surprisingly sounds fresh! Would have been better if it had a stronger chorus, the repetition is what turns me off from listening to it again. But the outro is worth more than that, the guitar riff is definitely one of my all-time favorite outros from them! As a whole though, this song seems so weak, I think it's better as a stand-alone song! 7/10

6. Fun (feat. Tove Lo) - another electric guitar melancholic-wrapped song, I think it could be a song from "Ghost Stories", right until the explosive chorus hits, it's straight-up Alternative-Pop that will be serviced to radios. It is very nice to hear Tove Lo, but she's more like a back-up singer here. A couple more listens and I can already feel it's going to crawl into my Top 5! 8/10

7. Kaleidoscope - muddled piano in the beginning, and A REAL SURPRISE by Chris Martin. I never would have expected these kinds of vocals in a Coldplay song to be honest, but this seemed like an experimental era from them, so it's to be expected. It's a very psychedelic interlude! 

8. Army of One - far from anything they've done at the beginning of their career, but there's always room for growth. This one is probably a grower, the chorus seems weak to me, something that The Script would have done and not Coldplay. At 6 minutes, a lot of things happened, and as I predicted, it's definitely a grower, the outro is mind-changing one! THERE IS A HIDDEN TRACK, but I don't think I like it that much., it sounded more like a Drake-track to be honest. 8/10

9. Amazing Day - they premiered this ages ago, and I never liked it. In fact I never thought it would be this beautiful, the bridge is so heartbreaking as if this is the last thing they'll do! If there is anything that the old Coldplay fans would love, IT IS THIS SONG! It somehow reminded me of Yellow, Clocks and The Scientist all at once! It is so nostalgic, and if by chance this is indeed their last era, then what a nice gift this song is! 10/10

10. Colour Spectrum - beautiful interlude, that's all!

11. Up&Up - surprising track. It is kinda weird because I kept imagining Taylor Swift is singing the verses, this definitely sounds like a Max Martin x Coldplay collab track. The same feeling I've got the first time I heard Adele's "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)", something that wouldn't have suited for the 2, but they did! I love the choir in the background of the song, it definitely lightened it up! If "O" hadn't existed, this would have been my favorite closing track from them, it's just too good, too happy to end the record! 10/10

Surprisingly, I never thought I would love this record as much as I did with Ghost Stories or Mylo Xyloto. I am probably one of the few people who preferred their recent albums compared to their old ones! When Adventures of a Lifetime premiered, I told myself not to get my hopes up, only to discover that Adventures is probably the worst track from the record!

This is a really happy album, it sounds so festive minus a couple ballads! There is energy throughout the 11 tracks plus a hidden one. Believe it or not, after just a single listen in its entirety, I'm glad to say, "It's my favorite album from them!"

The album is now available in iTunes and Amazon.