An Open Letter to the Girl Who Broke My Heart

It's not a letter, but I like the way the title sounds!

Recently, I have been very busy with my schedule I had to say goodbye to my classmates earlier than I used to, and this led to an speculation that I am seeing/dating someone again. I am terribly sorry to inform everybody that I am still very happy with my own company!

When I started college, everyone was different, it's like a clash of every society, there's the rich with their cars, pretty ones sitting on the table, geeks facing their tools, models on high fashion, and then there's some of us, raised without the glimpse of city living. It was certainly hard at first, but to make a point, it was certainly harder when you're lost in a sea of lovers!

However, making some friends wasn't really that hard to accomplish. Pretty soon, I've managed to introduce myself in at least 10 people and made good impressions with them. But trust me, nobody ever believed me when I said I have never been in a relationship before. It became a little bit embarrassing after a couple of months, and to feed my ego, I had to make a synthetic connection with someone, preferably a classmate!

During my first year, I've met this girl, she was/is awesome, intelligent, hard to figure out, very strict, fun to be with, and sooner than later, my classmates seemed to notice the two of us and they had to manufacture a romantic fanfiction between the two us. I tell you, manufactured romances are neither good or bad, but it becomes a joke after a while. And they're hella effective too, with a little to no effort, my heart seemed to expand thrice the size and I began to imagine what it feels like to be in a relationship and it felt good! But I had to consider other factors.

You see, in a manufactured romance, there's what they call "bridge", you know someone who links the two of you to become closer. Most of the time, it's the bridge who brings out the drama and the comedy, he always had the laughs and the jokes ready, and the right amount of teasing. It was good at first only to grow out of hand, and then all of a sudden I realized that it's true what people said, "bridge is always the owner." Sigh.

So at this point, it seems like I'm blaming it to the bridge, right? But now that I've searched my feelings, I have to blame myself. I never took any actions and before I knew it, the ship has already sailed!

IF THIS WAS A ROMANTIC STORY THEN IT WAS REALLY A TRAGEDY, but because this is not a romantic story, I STILL GET TO LIVE HAPPILY AGAIN! Surprise!

Some things beyond everybody's control are bound to happen whether you or I like it or not. 

Not that I became numb after being heartbroken (I get to recover in 3 days!) but I decided to tell myself that love is not for me yet. I had to comfort myself in silly ways, sometimes by telling my mind, "You're here to study, not to find the love of your life,"; sometimes by thinking, "Cheer up, the world is so big, by the time you're 25 you're gonna travel around the world alone and by chance, you're gonna meet her,"; sometimes by looking at the flaws of other relationships, "Look at them always arguing, look at him being commanded by her, etc.,"; and at times trying to find comfort in songs, like the one Mumford & Sons song, "I'm not ready, I'm not strong enough to carry the weight of your love."

I know, I told you, those ways are really silly but THE MIND IS EASY TO TRICK, I have learned ways to control it better than my heart, (lol) and now I am really glad that that part of my life happened, that I had the privilege of being heartbroken. 

*plays Adele's Can't Let Go in the background. Thanks for reading!